September 29th, 2009

My dearest Olivia,
Time flies so fast while I watch you grow. You are 15th months old and walking, so happy to explore on your own. You share so much with others, which makes me so proud to see. At the dinner table you want to share your food if you see me or your mom watching. When you have your bottle you share it with us too and we have our own little game where we share your pacifier between the two of us. You are also so patient and not quick to cry like some of the other babies around you.

Time is also changing. I have no doubts that life you live when you read this will be so different from the time we live now. The cars, the clothes, the music....so much will be different I think. One of my greatest wishes for you is to provide a good home, a good future and a very comfortable life for you. It's a wish that your mom and I both feel is so important because you are so important to us. Whatever changes we have, how much we love you will never change though. We will never get tired of listening to you, hearing you laugh, wanting to comfort you when you're sad. So matter what, good times or bad, we will always have each other.

I hope that when you are reading this, you are very happy with your life. That we have done a good job in raising you to the gentle, curious and sometimes silly girl that you are now. We will always work hard for you. Ok?

We love you so much!

April 29th, 2009

My darling Olivia,
I still can't get over how big and how beautiful a sweet little girl you are becoming. You are now a little over 10 months old now. so talkative and curious. People around you stop to smile at you and tell us that you are so smart, so cute, so serious and have such an angelic face. Your mom and I are so thankful that God entrust us with you and love you with all of our hearts. You are learning so much these days. You've already started to say little words like "Hi", "Daddy" and "Umma" (or at least that what the words sound like). you also have a language all your own that we try to understand. But I guess everyone has to have their secrets. ;)

As you get older, you will meet some people that can do more than you and some that can do less than you. It could be in terms of knowledge, talent, ability, health or even appearances. The most important thing that I hope we can teach you is that these things don't make you more or less of a person, especially in the area of appearances. Everyone has limits and everyone experiences doubts about themselves. Everyone wishes that could do more in some ways. I want to learn that your limits are not barriers like a glass of water. What they are now will not always be what be in the future. They are just a capacity for what you can do at that time. If you want them they can grow with you, but if you don't use them they can also weaken. As your mommy and daddy, I hope that we aren't the type to push you unwillingly to grow but can encourage you. It's so much more fun when you discover things on your own.

I hope that we don't compare you to other kids too badly. If we do, it's never to make you feel like you are less of anything. We love you for you and that will never change. You should never be ashamed of who you are (for any reason). You should always be proud of who you are, but so proud that it hurts other people.

You are my daughter. That is a fact that I will always be proud. The little girl, young lady and eventually young woman that you will become, I'm sure will be extraordinary and I look forward to meeting you at all those stages. Right now though, I am just so happy that I can hold you in my arms and enjoy the time that we have together. Your korean name "Boyoung" means "precious treasure". Your grandparents gave you that name to remind us as well as you of how important you will always be to us.

February 23, 2009

Dearest Olivia,
I can't tell you how much your smile and laughter mean to my heart. To see you laughing with so much joy and love makes me so happy. I hope that you always look on life as something to do not something done to you. You may not know the difference as you read this but you will as you get older. I'll try and explain for now. There are two types of people. One who look at life as an adventure, something new to try and explore. These people are brave in there decisions and usually have a healthy way of seeing what's around them. The other group see life as a battle. Life is unfair to them and rather than seeing what good things life has to offer, they usually miss out on the fun things. Grown ups usually make this mistake, because they see things as responsibilities and things to do. It's important to see what you need do, but it's also important to balance what you want to do. See life as an adventure and always follow the joys of your heart.

Love,
Dad

January 26, 2009

I've been to write this for a while, but haven't really found the time till now. You, my dear daughter, are growing up in an exciting time in American History. When you go to school you'll learn about how this country divided itself in acts of social ignorance and petty grudges based on the color of people's skin and heritage. For the first time in our history, a man has been elected to the highest position in our country not based on the color or status of his life, but on the ability and character he exemplifies.

As you grow up, it's my greatest hope that you will be not just tolerant but embracing on the differences around you. People will always be people, and it would be narrow minded to say that any one grouping is better than another. You won't get along with them all, but you will have to learn to accept them all. And if you see someone being picked on, I hope that you would stand up for the ones who can't.

You have already made us proud by just being you, a gentle baby wide eyed to the world. Growing up, I hope that you will continue to have those traits being gentle to all and wide eyes to the possibilities of this world.

Love
Dad

January 15th, 2009

I hope that we always make sure to play with one another, you, me and your mom. I think it's important because it makes us feel more connected. Not just by the memories that we build but by the things we learn from each other. I gotta confess I'm curious to know more about you. What will your favorite ice cream be? Will you be like your mom and like green tea ice cream or will you be more traditional with chocolate or vanilla? Will you be a swimmer or a soccer player? Will you love the outdoors or will you prefer to be indoors? Will you love to draw like me?

There a million questions floating in my head that I'm looking forward to learning the answers to....but I will miss out on them if I don't take the time to learn them from you. Your mom and I love you so much and can't wait to see the sun rise in the morning because we are so curious to learn what you will do from one day to the next.

Life will get busy as it always does and things will be complicated as it always does, but I hope that it doesn't become an excuse for why we don't spend time together. There is no good enough excuse to miss out on our precious moments.

Your always loving father

January 9th, 2009

My dearest Olivia,

Tonight we left you with your Aunt Jillian for a little while. By now, you know that when we leave you with her or any babysitter, it's not because we're abandoning you. Sometimes your mom and I have to go out to do "grown up" stuff. We don't worry about you because we know that whoever we leave you in their care will take such good care of you. Otherwise, we couldn't trust them with our most precious possession.

Like most other times, you get nervous and cry. Once you realize that you're safe, you calm down and become more and more trusting. We were only gone for a short amount of time but we missed you so much and were so happy to be home with you. Always remember that no matter where we are, we always think of you and can't wait for the time when we're back together.

Your always loving dad

January 5th, 2008

My dearest Olivia,
In the next room you are being fed your morning cereal by your mom. You protest (as all babies do I think) when you are being cleaned but you give such a smile afterwards. You have this sound ... like you're trying to make things out for yourself, which makes you squeal sometimes when you enjoy your own answers.

There are things I hope I always tell you while you're growing older. How much we love you, never forget to be happy, be patient with us because we're learning just like you ... as well so many others that I'll probably add to this journal some day.

At this time in your life you are so full of wonder and excitement. When it's just the three of us, you get so excited and seem to explode with such happiness. When we're in public, you become so reserved and calculating. You're so shy and cautious among people but you are still so gentle in your nature. You take the world in through you large beautiful brown eyes and it makes me wonder what you're thinking. I wish it were possible to place some of your essence in a bottle and store it away so that you may be able to experience it for yourself some day, but unfortunately I can only hope that that quality always stays with you.

When I first found out that you were coming to us. I think I somehow knew you right then. That you were going to be a girl and when you arrive ... generally. Since that time thought I've watched you grow and that certainty has changed to wonder as you discover the world around you and gain such new experiences. There is a bitter sweetness to knowing that I'll be able to have this conversation with you someday. Sweet because I can hear and see the affect it has you to hear about your own past, but bitter because it will cost me the time I have you now at such a precious time. So for now, I will cherish our time for however long it will last.

Your always loving father

January 4th, 2008

Dearest Olivia,
The new year has begun and in Korea you will have been 2 years old already. But in actuality you have just entered our lives six months ago. You have a smile that makes complete strangers stop and take notice, and you have number of people who love you, most you have not even met yet. Your mother and I are your greatest fans though, and for the rest of our lives it will always be so.

A few moments ago, we were getting ready for your bath when I felt something warm against my chest. That's right, my dearest little girl, you peed on your dad. The funny thing is that I would have thought (if I were someone else watching), I would get upset. But it was the opposite, I was happy. It made me think of what your life will be like in the future. Would you be afraid to talk to me when you made a mistake? What would my reaction be like? At this time in our lives, I hope that we will be able to talk about anything and really be honest with one another.

It's because of that hope I started this blog for you as a journal when you're old enough to understand, and also for me to remember what is truly important for you to know and never forget. Your mother has just put you down for the night in our small apartment for three. Rest well tonight, and we'll talk again soon.

Your always loving father